Comparison Kills Community | Inspirational Post | Fine Art Photographer

How Comparison Kills Community

Have you ever had a friend who's life you really admired? Maybe she has the dream job you wish you had, or her husband treats her how you wish yours would treat you, or maybe simply in conversation when your friend is telling you something, you might cut her down by saying something like "well my situation is way worse so yours is irrelevant". Does any of this sound familiar? Comparing your life to someone else's will only separate you from that person. Here's why comparison kills community:

• It's Hurtful

This comes from a personal place for me. One of my closest friends use to constantly do this. Whether I would have something exciting happening in my career or the person I was dating was treating me well, etc... there was always a form of comparison which lead to jealousy. It's sucks when your friends aren't happy for you when something good is happening in your life, instead they steal your thunder, and can be really hurtful. It's only natural to pull away when this happens, which confirms why it kills community. While there is conflict in almost every relationship, there are also great things, that when healthily combined, can be world changing... but unfortunately when comparison and jealousy kick in... it ruins any chance for that.

• You Can't Grow

I have a hard time with this one... social media plays a big role in this too. Innocently spending a few minutes a day scrolling through everyone's life highlights. "Wow, I'm not that kind of mom, I must be a bad mom", "Woah, Jose Villa's photography is so amazing, I have to shoot like him in order to be good", "her house is prettier than mine, I suck", "Suzy has so many friends, everyone loves her, she's always with people, at gatherings, my life sucks, no one loves me"... SO MANY OF US FALL INTO THE LIE AND TRAP OF SOCIAL MEDIA! Your life is YOUR OWN. Whether we are talking about your career, your creative work, your family, your husband, your relationship, or YOU... you will never be those people. Your life wasn't called to be like anyone else's but yours. So turn off the iphone,  start living and be an example of what it's like to live out the life you were uniquely created for. Then all of a sudden you won't care about what's on social media anymore ;-). You can enjoy what you see for what it is, instead of coming from an empty place of wishing you were someone else.

• It's Damaging

I am sure we can all work on this one. Imagine this conversation between you and a friend:"I've had a rough day today, I had this client that was just so mean" and your friend replies with "It's not worse than my day, my client was just the absolute worst because blah blah blah". Immediately disregarding what you are feeling and flipping the conversation onto themselves. Hey, I am sure everyone is guilty of this at least once in their life, but here's why it kills community. Disregarding someone's feelings and comparing them to your own, brings everything back to the first bullet. It's hurtful. Whether you are sharing something exciting about your life or something that hurt you, this common tactic is the first step in relationship failure. Not being heard, and being disregarded, in any aspect of your life, will ruin anything positive that comes out of that friendship or relationship. So how can we fix this? STOP COMPARING, step outside of ourselves. We can't have community with friends, in our industries, at church, or even our family, if we are constantly coming from a place of low self esteem in our relationships. Comparison is so common amongst the photography industry, which absolutely kills me! We are all in this together, guys. There is no competition if you do not allow it. Your work and your business is uniquely your own. Your life is your own, not hers, you will never be her, she will never be you. Love the people in your life and in our industry for their unique greatness. Strive to be the best person you can, and stop trying to be someone you're not.I hope this post inspires you to be different today! Spend the weekend unplugged, focus on your greatness, be a better you. For no one's life can compare to what you were called to be.Off to shoot a wedding with Iris and Light! Until Monday, Y'all!XOXO,Christine Sara

Photos from when I was in the Cotswolds, England last year. Can't wait to go back this year!!